Shifting the balance

15-20 years ago wedding guests brought home wares for the newly weds, the couple were going to be moving in to a new home and starting their lives as together. Coffee machines, mix masters, BBQ’s, soup tourines and toasty machines were wrapped and piled on a table at the reception. The average price of a gift was around $60, some more traditional families would exceed $100 or more. We still see this tradition everyday, Grey's Anatomy's Christina asked Bourke's Mama to remove them after Bourke walked out, goodness knows how many 'Wedding Movies' we've seen the bride sitting amongst meter high piles all around a living room feeling overwhelmed, and Chandler getting the blame for losing the gift list in Friends.

This gift giving brought a balance to weddings. Price per head is what? $115 + the bonbonierre but in return the couple had a whole house full of new home wares to start their lives together. It was also tradition that the Father of the Bride pay for the wedding (if not a large portion) so that took some of the sting away.

In more current times, couples live together for a few years before they get married and often they already have all the home wares they need, although they may not have the Russel Hobbs toaster or Sheridan sheets. Instead, now they opt for their guests to donate to their honeymoon or renovations fund.

As we’ve become a more independent and less traditional society (overall) couples are choosing to foot the bill for their weddings themselves, thanking their parents for putting up with their teenage years. Shifting the balance of cost into the B&G's piggy bank. So now the majority of the bill is paid for by the couple, with perhaps parents on both sides chipping in for the reception venue, dress or bar tab. Gifts have become non-compulsory. 

We still have brides wanting to out-do the last wedding she went to by being bigger and better. The goal is to have everyone entertained at every second of the day.

What do you do to shift the balance back out of your pocket?

Register for gifts. You probably have towels, but do you have nice Egyptian cotton bath sheets? Or at least have a think about the list, do the math and find out the grand total of the list and the average gift price. And use that figure to determine how much you will spend on your guests? Sounds cheap? Well, you’re not going to start your wedded life extremely broke after forking out $10k and you’ll have some awesome new bath sheets and home wares to ease the pain and restore the balance.

Part of the wedding experience, I believe, is to enjoy a wonderful day by joining both families through awkward chicken dances, followed by a honeymoon consummating your marriage and to come home to an elevated luxury in your new lives together. 

If you’re going to be traditional, hire fancy cars, say vows, walk an aisle, then have a traditional registry and start your lives in a little luxury!