Tradition

I ended my last blog with this “If you’re going to be traditional, hire fancy cars, say vows, walk an aisle, then have a traditional registry!”

I see a lot of weddings in my job as a wedding photographer (who knew?). I also get to talk to the brides during the planning process. I hear a lot about “tradition”. Most couples are forgoing traditions like the first dance because they don’t want to do it, for whatever reason. But many are still locked into the entire wedding experience based on what they know, tradition.

Yes, we’ve seen bridesmen and groomswomen, and sure, couples are choosing no to have the first dance but what about everything else? And I mean, EVERYTHING.

Cars - $600-$800 for fancy cars. Ok, if you go to the car shows every year, you love cars, vintage, muscle, whatever. Then yes, fork out $600 for a $40 cab ride. And ok, say your bridal party is a bit bigger than that an nobody wants to drive because they want to toast champagne. Make it $120 for 3 cabs. You’re still saving  $500.

Cake – do you like cake? By 9.30pm does anyone eat the cake? I’ll honestly tell you that most people aren’t in their seats when the desserts come out. They’re socializing and dancing and the wait staff have whisked it away into the kitchen before anyone’s even noticed. Think about why you want to cut a cake. In the 5 minutes in your wedding reception, what will this mean to you? Is that 5 minutes of putting a knife through a red velvet sponge worth $400? Instead of putting $400 into one cake (not everyone likes orange and poppyseed), get a small cake made and put the rest into a lolly buffet that everyone can enjoy and it can double as your wedding favour!

Meals – when was the last time you sat down for a 3-course meal? If you’re inviting 75 guests at $115 a head you’re looking at $8,625.  Even at half the price per head it’s still over $4,000 – four thousand dollars. Are you kidding me? A lot of the pretty venues you want have a minimum guests and minimum dollar per head. But tell me again why that venue? Really? The standard tables are overwhelmingly beautiful? The hideous carpet is exactly what you always dreamed of? There are a tonne of places you can hold your wedding reception where you can be in control of the décor and not have to spend thousands on a 3 course meal that will mostly be average and probably end up in the dumpster of the venue. And tell me, last time you went to dinner with friends, and didn’t order a three course meal, did you all eat only chicken or beef?

Think outside the square. Ask a restaurant what it would be to hire it for a night, what about a nice warehouse space. Have a hunt through the commercial listings in your favorite area and send off a few emails asking if the owner would mind lending their space to you for 24 hours. You’ll get 10 instant ‘No’ replies but you could also end up with a blank canvas.

If you choose to have bridesmaids, let them pick out their own dresses. This will not only save them some money, it will ensure that the dress they pick flatters their own body type. Plus, you don't have to choose just two or three of your best gal pals to be your maids. Everyone is happy! Even better, they really will be able to wear it again. 

Grooms don't have to miss out either - what's the point of having six maids if he's only got one groomsmen, right? Well tell the boys the same thing. "Here's the colour palette, just match this". Personally, I love the look of mismatched bridal parties. It adds so much texture and dimension to a photo. Everyone looks happy because they're comfortable. And it adds a little quirkiness to the photos. When, besides school photos or sports team photos, have you ever dressed the same as everyone else? 

Think about your to-do list you wrote down when you first started your planning. Now look at that list and think ‘why are we choosing this’ and ‘is that reason worth $XYZ’.